Some of you this will speak to. Maybe even for.

Fair warning: some of you might not love what I'm about to say. But I have a feeling that for others, it'll speak to you, maybe even for you. That's who I'm writing to today.

Here's something I don't say out loud often: I was NOT the girl who dreamed of getting married and becoming a mother. It wasn't even on my radar. I thought I'd have a life full of the things I loved, and that was plenty. Kids were never a necessity for me.

Then I met Anthony. And for the first time, I understood why people wanted this, because I'd finally found a partner I could do life with, one who accepts me exactly as I am. Here we are all these years later, with a little family of our own.

And then there's Eva.

Dear Eva,

I cannot believe it has been 8 years since you came into our lives. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for being my daughter, you have already taught me so much. Our relationship was a bit rocky at first — but our bond is powerful AF.

Through helping you thrive, I've learned how to help myself. Through accepting you for all that you are, I've learned how to accept myself. It's strange for me to even write that down.

I love your creativity, your sense of humor, the way you see the world and your boundless energy. You have great friends and aren't afraid to try new things.

You could never be put in a box. You weren't an easy baby, or an easy toddler. I should have known that EASY IS EARNED. Learning how to be a good parent to you was a challenge from the very start.

Thank you for teaching me things I never would have learned if not for you — about the body, about brains, about how different people need different things. And thank you for being the reason I had to get sharper and dig deeper: I'm grateful for the awareness to know when something wasn't right, and to keep advocating until you got the help you needed. I am excited about the year ahead!

Happy birthday, Eva the Diva

Here's the part I really need you to hear.

I didn't learn that awareness as a mom first. I learned it in my own body — years of pain, of being told to just "bounce back," of figuring out what my body actually needed. And here's the truth: I couldn't have advocated for Eva the way I did if I hadn't first done that work on myself.

That's the part so many of us get backwards. We will do ANYTHING for our kids. We move mountains for them. But for ourselves? We put it off. We push through the pain. We wait until things "calm down" (spoiler: they don't).

If I'd stayed stuck in my own body — still in pain, still not getting help — I'd still be miserable. And I wouldn't have had the clarity, or the fight in me, to get Eva what she needed.

Taking care of yourself isn't the thing you get to after everyone else. For a lot of us, it's the thing that makes everything else possible.

There is another way. I'm living on the other side of it. And you could be too.

Now, I'm not here to convince anyone. That's not my job, and honestly, it doesn't work anyway. Nobody gets there by being talked into it. But when YOU are ready to do the work, like really ready — I'll be here. Your teacher, your biggest supporter, your straight-shooter. The work is always yours to do. I'll just show you the way.

Today, though? I'm off the soapbox and off to the movies! Grateful you're here.

If you've been putting yourself last — pushing through the pain because everyone else needs you — hit reply and tell me. You're not the only one. I read every single one.

Here in MA, we've still got summer left to enjoy — cheers to swimming, boogie boarding, stand-up paddleboarding, hikes, cheeseburgers, and all the time outside with the cousins. ☀️

XOXO
Stacey